You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
