I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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