Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
