I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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