why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
