I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
