Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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