Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
