I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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