the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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