but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
