He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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