Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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