I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
