Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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