great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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