I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
