She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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