drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
