That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
