so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
