I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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