Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
