yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize