Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
