Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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