I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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