My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
