Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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