If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
