we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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