hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
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Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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