Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
