you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
