Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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