During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
