I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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