Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
