He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
