I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
