Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
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Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
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Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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