I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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