Swine flu is the new snow day.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
