Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
