If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
