All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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