I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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