Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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