...so i touched it.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i think i just lost a toe
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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