I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Pooping to opera.
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