Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
