I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
