So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
