my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
