Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
