Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
