who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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