i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she told me i tasted like america
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
