i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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