He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
