I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
