I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
