New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
