Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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