I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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