i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
