That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
