I have demons in me.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize