I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I need to calm my uterus...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
