why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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