i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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