i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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